Fwd: Green Alert- Only YOU Can Prevent Environmental Degredation!

This is without question the most entertaining email I have received from my haas email account!

Begin forwarded message:

 

Greenalert

Go Green Events!   9/12 – September Consumption Function Sponsored by McKinsey

Quite a few of you may have seen this email last year, but it's new to the class of 2010, so you're going to have to suffer through this awful color font one more time.   If you didn't read this the first time, you should really pay attention because throwing your perfectly biodegradable cups into a normal bin will may get you banished from the city of Berkeley. ……………………………………………………………………………………………..   Listen up everyone! We're going green here at Haas, and I 'm not talking about the color you turn after you eat a super burrito from FIFO.  I'm talking about good ol' environmental responsibility.   It's time to get out your hemp Cal gear, take public transportation to Haas, and learn what goes where when you're done consuming and functioning at Friday's event.   Like your 7th grade sex-ed teacher, I'm not going to teach you the best way to be green at Friday's CF, but I am gonna make an effort to teach you the rough basics. And with the abundance of Net Impacters willing to pounce on anyone violating greenialtiy, the consequences of not reading this email may be worse than an STD. So pay attention!     Actually, it's not that difficult   Step 1: Knowing what you're working with.   Things that biodegrade. Things that don't biodegrade.   Your food? It biodegrades. Your plastic coke bottle? It will be here long after monkeys have come back to rule the earth again, which I hope is a really long time from now (or super soon, so I don't have to repay back my loans).   Paper? It biodegrades. Noticing a theme yet? Things that come from the earth seem to go back to it naturally well enough.  Your napkins, sugarcane-based paper plates, paper towels, cardboard boxes, etc - they all biodegrade.   Aluminum cans? No. These are for crushing against your forehead while yelling "extreme!" They can be recycled, i.e., turned into other things that don't biodegrade,  but not composted. Bioplastics? YES! They come from corn-based something or other that smart people have figured out how to turn into plastic-likeness, but are still biodegradable. Is this blowing your mind like when McDonald's introduced the McGriddle? Mine too. How do you know a bioplastic cup when you see one? It's got a label like the one on the right. Use those same reading skills that you use to filter out junk mail, like the Social Alert, to differentiate.   Believe it or not, we've been buying bioplastic cups and utensils for use at CF's since the beginning of the year…which brings me to my next point…   Step 2: Knowing where to put it   Trust me when I say that this matters so often in life.   At the consumption function, you put your biodegradables in one of the massive green compost bins. They look like normal trash bins, but are green. They are not recycle bins!   Also, we even use biodegradable bioplastic trash bags so everything composts nicely. They'll be labeled.   Please put your plastic, aluminum, and glass bottles in the recycle bins. These are not the big green compost bins.   And…if I see any of you putting biodegradables into the normal trash bins or non-biodegradables into the compost bins, I'm gonna make you sing karaoke in front of the entire school or maybe just give you a really nasty stink eye from across the courtyard.       This is indeed some form of trash can   Step 3: Never be caught without it - your own Cup!   We can avoid some of this hassle by having everyone bring their own cup. We'll waste less of your MBAA $$ on bioplastic beer cups (they're actually, really cheap), be more environmentally responsible, and BYOC comes with a super awesome side benefit:   THEY HOLD MORE BEER! That you haven't figured this out yet makes me question the GMAT numbers Pete Johnson touted during O-Week. This is a solid strategy for a number of reasons: -      You get to control scarce resources -      You minimize transaction costs -      It's like Freudian brand management -      It's intimidating to other beer-seeking players   It does matter   Al Gore approves of this message. (Well…not really, but I'm sure if he read it he could find something in here that wasn't completely offensive.)

Got an event you want promoted?  Send it to justin_parker@mba.berkeley.edu, and if it's appropriate for the whole school I'll send it out.  If you have any feedback, please use the link to the MBAA suggestion box: http://www.haas.berkeley.edu/mba/student/feedback-suggestions.html